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After about a month he confessed he had just recently ended a long relationship.After three months he said, “Actually, we’re still together but I want to leave her”.There is always someone waiting somewhere, whether it’s the wife, the jealous (and justified) girlfriend, the lover in Florence or Milan, or the high school sweetheart in their hometown in Puglia or Sicily.

Without straying into dubious references to Romeo and Juliet, Italy is a country where people love to love.

Italians are enthusiastic about all that there is to be enjoyed to be life and sex and romance are near the top of the list of the fine things in life, just below a good pasta.

“Why don’t you send it to the FBI and have the DNA extracted? According to Concettina, I haven’t got any female friends, only “zoccole” who want to be intimate with me. The fact that I don’t give her any logical reason to be jealous changes nothing.

Or do I tell her the truth and sleep on the sofa for a week? It’s easy to argue with an Italian woman because you’re not really involved.

As shameful as it is to admit and at the risk of sounding completely conceited, I was ready to return to dreary, mean London.

Still, after my first one-week Italian adventure, I'd had enough.

Until, of course, I fell in love with an Italian or, to be more precise, a Sicilian (the difference this makes, I will leave up to you).

The perks of attaching oneself to a foreigner soon became clear.

The next day, of course, Conci made a surprise visit to my office and saw Samantha: pandemonium!

” she concluded.“Listen,” I said, “I’m going into the kitchen to make a sandwich, you obviously don’t need me here.

But it’s a small price to pay because Italian women are the best women in the world!