Even though this guy and I were 25 years apart, we had a lot in common. I didn't know then that our age gap would define the relationship. I got that; but even though I knew there was no future, I didn’t cut it off completely. After it ended, he talked to a lot of people about our relationship -- and what happened through the grapevine was unexpected. Women judged me as having an ulterior, economic motive: “She just dated him for his money,” or “She thought she could get ahead.” In our society people are so quick to judge a young, naïve woman -- never the older man who perhaps should’ve known better too.
We worked in the same profession, had similar interests, and shared common philosophical views. So what if he was wrinkly, in all the places you might expect? There was zero jealousy on both sides, and I never saw him check out another woman -- due to him being satisfied, of course, but also him being well-seasoned in how to respect the opposite sex. Another lesson in dating: a fling with someone in your professional/personal circle is more often than not bad news. I have a friend who’s been married to someone for more than a decade who is 20 years older than her.
I have nothing against guys my age; I have tried dating them, but I have constantly come across the following:– They're not ambitious enough, or they don't have a go-getter attitude.– They're not financially stable.– They still want to date around.– They have had baby mama or ex-wife drama.– They don't have their sh*t together.
Does any man really like to be called your Sexy Silver Fox?Although, I call J "Kid" in this super-cute, ironic way.I grew up the only child of older parents (who are also 10 years apart), and often felt like an awkward old lady trapped inside a teeny-bopper’s body. I admit, I wasn’t as physically attracted to him as I had been to other partners. Have you ever seen a girl with a hideous boyfriend and thought, “Seriously, how the f$*k did he pull that off? Either he's just a nice friggin’ dude; or being with him boosts her self-confidence. In my case, the age gap was actually a cavernous black hole defying space and time. He’s old and sick now, and she takes care of him (even financially), but she’s still partying and sleeping around. I sometimes imagine what would have happened if I had stayed with my older man. The last I heard, my older ex was in a tumultuous relationship with another 20-something, this time a singer reminiscent of Björk. Or, you know, some version of whining about your age. With age (often) comes maturity and chivalry—take advantage!
Cece even tells Jess as she's first considering dating Russell (the one and only Fancypants) that "he intimidates you because you wouldn't have to take care of him, he'd take care of you."DON' T make your man feel older than he actually is (or date yourself).
At 21, most guys aren't thinking about settling down and having a family.
They're thinking about going to the bar, flirting with a girl, and hooking up.
By this time, he's learned how to make and save money.
They know what they want (or should) so there are no head games or texting games to be played.
Anyone who’s been in a serious long-term relationship knows the journey isn’t without certain challenges, and when you’re dating an older man—we’re talking a decade or more—things can get even trickier.